Sinner
by Shannon Barber
hate the sinner love the sin.

i am a sinner  the evil one punished for misdeeds my hopes are stolen by evils i cannot even name i
feel like i deserve this i am afraid to hope that i will come out the otherside into forever a cleansed
soul is this what happens to those who lose their faith it feels like an impossibility to believe in right
and just gods and all those beautiful things they said in the sacred books i don't know what i have
done if i knew what sort of terrible sin i have committed i would atone willingly and without rancor
what i cannot understand is the depths to which i must sink to redeem myself

hate the sinner love the sin.


how low before i am given my chance to repent will i be allowed to rise or do i slip between the
cracks fall down underneath the feet of the rushing masses get matted to the pavement and left to
wait for time or destruction or the right steam cleaner to scrape me up i think i am a liar

hate the sinner love the sin.

actually this is all bullshit this suffering this depression of soul and very being feels like it belongs only
to me the only one fucking up is me and i can't keep the lies going long enough to get used to the
smell of my own shit this is stupid i have sold myself out to the lies i keep telling myself

hate the sinner love the sin.

the tragedy is not absent silent gods nor lost faith the tragedy is that i am a victim of myself i should
work harder do more. there must be some integral life lesson or ability that i just missed there is no
god and no being who can do it for me that is the truth of it the only sin here is the sin of omission the
sin of half truths and idol worship i hate all of it

hate the sinner love the sin.

i am bereft and dangerous in my wanton ignorance i am the walking talking blind leading the blind
leading the stupid marching and lurching ahead in ragged formations me and a million others like me
you are right there too  i am the same as you and everybody else i say i and should say we the blind
ugly masses who spend eternity eating and shitting and using up the earth i hate all of us

hate the sinner love the sin
Shannon Barber is an author who resides in Seattle.  She spends most of her
time in search of coffee flavored coffee, screaming at strangers and not
sleeping.  Her writing has been featured in Scared Naked Magazine,
Ssspread, Velvet Mafia, Quantum Muse and Open Wide.  Currently she is
working on an anthology of rants, poetry and other assorted crap.  You can
find her on the web at http://www.nudemuse.org/blogger.html feel free to
visit to point and laugh.